Out of the blue thin air comes out a voice calling my name very faintly. I struggled to get a hint to recognize it. It sounded very familiar but was unable to give it a name and exactly at that moment came another sound. I shook my head to stir up the un-mixed contents in my head and to recharge my bran cells to recognize it was a faint voice calling out to me trying to convey something very important and very confidential.
The voices in my head were trying to communicate to me with some unusual ecstasy. I finally started to get the string and I found that all the voices were gathering together to make it one. I could feel the chill run down my spine. It was kind of a trance to me that all of a sudden, from nowhere, I heard these voices. The intriguing dilemma of the voices in my head and the voices I presumed to be coming from a distance had me bewildered for a while.
Though I was a man made of substance, I had this fear factor that was carved into my head in my childhood. When I was really struggling to get an order within my head, I got yet another message that was trying to make contact with my brain cells. It is at this point in time that I thought to myself “Who am I? I know I'm not *this*, so why am I unable to dig under my feelings and find who is behind those voices. I wanted an identity of those miscreants in my head, The head belonged to me. Nobody else has or had the rights to ponder inside of me. I started to feel sick. I started to feel an innocent sadness growing up inside me. It is the little voice inside of me which stayed silent for a long time. It's the feelings that I shoved into the cold silence of shame and self hatred. No feelings - no hurt. No life.- Nothing.
Deliberately, out came the final tone which was loud and clear & I recognized it! Yes, finally I recognized the voice. This husky mellow voice whispered in my ear again. “wake up!! wake up!! It’s right time that you did something. wake up!! wake up!! wake up!!” It was ME from the inside. I was talking to me from the insides.
-Bhaskee
